Another Princess Tale

There was once a princess
Who was pretty but in distress
She waited and waited
For her status to be updated
Right now it says: LOCKED IN A TOWER
The same every week, every day, every hour
This princess is also single
Alone with no one to mingle
Princes, Dukes and Kings
Have offered her a dozen rings
But most of them are gits
Too perfect, no fungus or zits
Some are show-offs and cocky
Some are short and kinda dorky
Some of them thinks they are so cool
Saying rich words that make you want to drool
No one seems to be right for her
She can’t find her happily ever after
She is still in her tower alone
Thinking of a new status for her phone
One day she had enough and finally had something to say:
‘Dear all that comes or online today…
I can’t find the right one and don’t want to cry
I am really getting fed up now so goodbye!’
Tourists come to her tower and hear her tale
About how she didn’t like any of the passing males
She was so bored with all the guys who fooled around with her
Now she didn’t get her happily ever after
She jumped off her tower and died
Well, not really. The tour guides lied
She realised she didn’t want a man
Turns out she’s a lesbian
Since that day, she was never ever seen
She’s alright though, she is kai kai-ingΒ with the Queen.

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