~You will be rewarded with a Great Honour~

Today, I am going to be graduating with a FIRST CLASS HONOURS!!! I still cannot believe it that I got a First Class grade.When I first saw it, I couldn’t quite process it that I got a 69.83% (which just barely made the first class grade) and the words next to it had First Class Honours. I just kept staring at it and shaking my head and I was really speechless. I never thought I would see those words on the screen. I was very certain that I would get a 2:1 because I calculated it over and over again (hoping it would be a 1st class) but finally accepting that I shouldn’t have even thought about getting a high grade and I am just happy with a 2.1. I already told a lot of my family members that I will get a B and soon I was confident that I would get a 2.1 (which secretly made me feel disappointed) but I moved on and just accepted it.

But those words on the screen when I saw it really brought tears to my eyes. The three years have been a huge adventure and like I said before, it wasn’t the easiest or the most fun thing you could do in your life (at least for me lol)  but I took it as a chance to prove myself that I can do it and grow. I didn’t really get high grades so I wasn’t looking for the top grade at all and most of the lecturers/ tutors warned us that not a lot of people will get firsts, so I didn’t have high hopes for myself. I cruised through the first year and in the second year and cruised even further in my third year, hoping for at least a 2.1. As a person who also missed out on things, I like to keep to myself and just jump hoping to land safely at least a metre from the edge and I treated university the same way. I did my best and if it wasn’t enough then I had to accept it and move on. I never shared my grades with anyone (unless they ask) but it always plays over and over again in my mind that I will never get a top grade and that always stayed with me until the results day. I still cannot believe I got a First Class Honour!

Getting this grade means so much to me for several reasons. Firstly, as I mentioned above, I am not the person who was highly praised for being academically smart and most of my grades especially A-Levels was so crap. I even had my doubts if I will even make it into university. But now, I have officially finished on a high note and I couldn’t have been more proud of myself. After all the stress, crying, headaches and sleepless nights, I can now breathe a sigh of relief that I am officially finished with all the essays and I am officially finishing with a First Class Honours. All those times, I stood people up and told them I was too busy to meet them (cause I was doing some last minute essays lol), the times I shut myself in my room and forced Vanessa to stay with me during some of my all-nighters so I would have some company, the times she was annoying and told me ‘It will be fine, Trisha’ and ‘You need to calm down!’ (which followed with a pillow to her face and on one occasion I dug my nails into her arms- I said I was sorry and you can barely see the scarring hahaha) and the times I handed every essay in thinking that it is the best I could and it is up to God what grade I get. I am one of those people who doubted herself constantly and worried so much about the future but always kept it to myself cause I don’t want to bother people. People would tell me it would be fine and I will nod my head (even if deep down I doubt it will be lol) and just get on with things. I never thought of the possibility of getting a first in anything and even though I would get excited when I got a first in some of my essays, I tell myself that I need to tone down the excitement so I won’t be disappointed. But damn, I did it and got an unexpected First Class Honours.

Another reason this means so much to me is that getting a high grade means I have ticked off one of the things on my bucket list, which is graduating from university and graduating with the highest grade possible. I know that going to university is a privilege as my parents always tell us, education is something people cannot take away from you and something you can never lose. So many people dream of going to university and they cannot afford to, so I feel so blessed that I stuck with it and finished university. I know this also means so much to my family that I am going to be graduating and there are not enough words I can write and say to thank them enough for quietly supporting me.

To my parents, thank you for always pushing me to be the best I could be and showering me with all the things I want and need. My parents work so hard every day to earn money to pay for all the necessities in life and they never wanted anything back except the promise from us to work hard and be a good person. Nothing can ever repay the unconditional love my parents have given me all my life but I hope now that I am going to be graduating, I can share with them the pride of this great accomplishment and a toast to the start of a fruitful future that they have always believed I would have.

To my sisters, firstly to Vanessa, you have always been annoying and we have had a lot of fights and I am sure there are still more to come. You have always made fun of me (mostly about my ex-boyfriends) but you have also brought some fun into my life by being my volunteer PA by bringing all my stuff for me up and down the stairs. Even if I injured you in the process or told you to be quiet, I always appreciated your encouraging words and your willingness to help me realise that I can do it! To Beatrice, thank you for helping me make peace with my inner child. With all the stress, I was always so serious about getting things done to prove that I have become an adult but with all the times spent with you, you have helped me take a break from being all grown up and watch cartoons and play childish games I have missed so much (plus it gave me a reason not to do my essays).

To all my aunts, uncles and cousins, you have always been there with supportive advice and compliments and even if we do not get to see or speak to each other as much as we would like, I know you are cheering me on with great enthusiasm. To all my Lolas, you have taken care of me since I was little and watched me grow into the person I am now. You have passed on your wisdom to my parents and they have passed it on to me and that has helped shaped my values on life and the power of prayer. I know we don’t go to church as much as we should but I also know that all of you always pray for me, for my health, my happiness and for my studies. I am so glad that both of our prayers have been answered and I am graduating with the highest honours. I will send some pictures over so I can share the blessings that God has given me. To my late Lolo Al and Lolo Ramon, I am so sad that you can’t see me graduate but I hope you are looking down on me and are very proud.

To all the few friends that stuck with me since childhood and until now, thank you so much for making me realise the power of friendship and I appreciate all the support you have given me (even though I didn’t get to meet up or hang out as much as you would have liked me to come and meet up). I will try and make an effort to come hang out more hahaha. To all the friends I met at university, you have been amazing and I am sure our paths will cross again and you will go on to greater things. To all the lecturers that taught me, you have opened my eyes and ears about social issues from theories that seemed like from many years ago (that I would have normally not even realised existed or wanted to read) but those lessons will stay with me in my mind and has not only made me more wiser but full of curiosity to discover more. 

After today I would be officially ending my university life with the highest grade and closing a huge chapter of my life. I cannot wait to see what the future has install for me. Let us toast to more undiscovered adventures that is now waiting to be discovered. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xo

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Would You Restart

If you could do it again, would you restart?
Back to the day with an open heart
When you had innocence and a youthful glow
When you believed relationships will work out and grow
To the day, he kissed you in the rain
To now, where you ache from the pain
To the day he visited you, just because
Now, he is telling you your endless flaws
How you could never do anything right
Why is it so dark when it is still light?
How other girls would worship at his feet
Was this really the guy you were destined to meet?
Remember the day he was at work, you’re all alone
Went to take a shower and left your phone
He came home and found some texts
Flashing endlessly from your ex
He stormed to the room and broke down the door
Pulled you from the shower and threw you on the floor
He screamed at you and said ‘You’re Dead!’
Then grabbed the shower and struck you on the head
Multiple times until you start to bleed
He continued on despite the multiple times you plead
You just laid there for who knows how long
Not even knowing what the heck you did wrong
The following day, everything seemed fine
He made breakfast for you: the girl who is mine
You never discussed what happened, he won’t tell
Warned you if you go against your vows, you’ll go to hell
Since then more blood was shed and seen
He hit you again yesterday, number seventeen
You want to let go, you want to leave
If it wasn’t for the news, you just received
Maybe if you tell him, you will no longer be a bother
How in nine months time he will become a father
You will be happy and all the hurt will wash away
You will be an amazing family one day
Unfortunately, this story will have to be cut short
Because he demanded that you immediately abort
Your unborn child barely two weeks old
You shook your head and refused to do what you’re told
You stood up to him and said ‘NO’
Then went to pack your bags so you can go
Far away from this house and from him
That’s when his patience started to dim
He pinned you against the wall told you to reconsider
You pushed him away and BANG he pulled the trigger
You fell on the bed and saw blood on your chest
Then place a hand on your belly and caressed
The human inside you that never got a chance
To see the world or experience romance
From someone who knows how a woman should be treat
You close your eyes and feel defeated
But deep down a part of you can now flee
You are now after a long time finally free
If you could do it again would you restart?
If you knew it all ends with an empty heart…

Being a Grown-up

Sorry I haven’t posted for ages since I have been swamped with events and work and life in general. I will keep this short since I want to plan ahead some ideas of what to write about. I have been busying working at my new workplace which I have been enjoying so far. I am looking for another work since it is just a part-time job but I will see how this one goes in the meantime. I have my graduation coming up and so I have been getting ready for that (I still have a few things still missing but apart from that I think I’m ready). My mom recently had her birthday and we had a lovely time spending some quality family time. I wanted to post on here but she wanted to keep it hush-hush lol. I am enjoying being single and focusing on me for a little while. Everyone is doing good and I am slowly figuring out this being a grown-up thing. 

Anyways, I promise I will make a much better effort on posting on this blog and writing more about my life and every undiscovered adventure I will be going to and hopefully discovering. 

Peace and Love xo

Trisha 

Injured Middle Finger

I don’t know if it is bad luck or I am just suddenly accidental prone but in the last three days, I have gotten injuries on my middle finger on my left hand. The first injury was due to a paper cut that tore the skin off right under my nail and the other injury was from some scissors after I was cutting off a zip lock lol and then the first injury was made even worse when I got another paper cut on top of it. I do not know why this is happening right now, especially since the other day I was discussing getting my nail done with my sister. But now, my middle finger is hurting and could probably use some pampering. I haven’t had any injuries for a long time apart from small scratches. I hope they heal really soon so I can start thinking what to do with my hands. 

On the plus side, if someone asks about it (and I don’t like them lol) I can shamelessly give them the middle finger! 

Death Will Win

A girl who decided to promise her life to Death
In twenty-four hours she’ll take her final breath
She needs someone to show her the light
To free her and hold her tight
She stares in the dark, swimming in red
If you don’t go now, she’ll soon be dead
She’s crying softly, here comes the rain
Death is knocking, she’s gonna go insane
Come to her and she might let you in
If you don’t, then Death will win!

*for World Suicide Awareness Day*

Countdown to Graduation

Tomorrow marks the day that Graduation tickets go on sale and I am so excited! I have been waiting for this day to come for ages and after three years, I am now finished with university and going to be graduating on October. That means I have a few more months for me to lose some more weight (a weight update will be coming real soon) and to decide what I should wear. I think graduation is one of those days where you can feel accomplished and to just breathe in all the achievements you have gained after a long time coming. I have already been looking at graduation dresses and looking up all the things needed for the ceremony  like booking my robe and how much tickets I need to buy (I still don’t know if Vanessa will be able to make it because she has school). I am so excited to be graduating and ending this adventure and looking forward to starting more undiscovered adventures. 

Cannot wait to see what happens next!

Freckles

I once had a fish named Freckles
He loved nothing more than doing heckles
Once the dog said: “Why are you so tiny?”
Freckles replied: “What’s it to you, Whiny?”
The cat once told him he is about to be eaten
Freckles stared him down, he wasn’t about to be beaten
He got out of the fish tank and clapped his fins
He walked towards Tommy the Cat and gave a devilish grin
We haven’t seen the cat in years but we found his third paw
Inside Freckles fish tank sitting there with his nails from his claw
Freckles was using them to clean his teeth and scratch his ass
The parrot stopped talking, Freckles must have given him some sass
One day, Freckles went all green and he got bigger and bigger
Then we saw the rat climb on his fish tank and pull the trigger
Of the plug, the water began to be drained until Freckles was on the floor
Soon, my dear Freckles was face to face with the slightly strained toilet door
My sister lifted it up and down went Freckles in the swirly, murky toilet water
Then she started screaming as the lid lifted up and something sharp caught her
There stood a scaly beast that reached the roof and its eyes looked at us two
I promise you, my reader, this story is one hundred percent, absolutely true!
So I have a now have a full grown CROCODILE named Freckles
He ate my sister but he is really good at heckles.