Sitting on the bench, smiling and laughing
So good, thrilling, sexy and so shocking
You are so crazy, always an adventure
Your one torture is my guilty pleasure
Sitting there, hot sizzling, gonna catch on fire
You are too good, baby, my one and only desire
Licking your lips with your tongue, it turns me on so much
My heart skips a beat every time at your sudden touch
You lean in and kiss my cheek leading to my mouth
You went not north, west, east but south
Down to my neck, you continued to bite and suck
Slow down please… careful now… F***!
Up to my ear, you nibble, making me wet
Been doing it ever since we first met
In under a millisecond, you reach my breast
My hand sliding down from your face to your chest
Don’t stop, you are too good, forgive me if I scream
I opened my eyes to find out that it was all a dream
I’m gonna confess you are better than my ex
How about you and I re-enact our Dream-Sex?
There was once a princess
Who was pretty but in distress
She waited and waited
For her status to be updated
Right now it says: LOCKED IN A TOWER
The same every week, every day, every hour
This princess is also single
Alone with no one to mingle
Princes, Dukes and Kings
Have offered her a dozen rings
But most of them are gits
Too perfect, no fungus or zits
Some are show-offs and cocky
Some are short and kinda dorky
Some of them thinks they are so cool
Saying rich words that make you want to drool
No one seems to be right for her
She can’t find her happily ever after
She is still in her tower alone
Thinking of a new status for her phone
One day she had enough and finally had something to say:
‘Dear all that comes or online today…
I can’t find the right one and don’t want to cry
I am really getting fed up now so goodbye!’
Tourists come to her tower and hear her tale
About how she didn’t like any of the passing males
She was so bored with all the guys who fooled around with her
Now she didn’t get her happily ever after
She jumped off her tower and died
Well, not really. The tour guides lied
She realised she didn’t want a man
Turns out she’s a lesbian
Since that day, she was never ever seen
She’s alright though, she is kai kai-ing with the Queen.
I liked so many boys, I have lost count
Boys just kept on appearing, they are starting to mount
First, the boy who thought he was cool
But he turned out to be a stupid fool
Then there was the boy I fell in love with
Once I thought I needed him to live
He had brown eyes and loved me like no other
But he also hated my father, sister and mother
He turned ugly and he broke my heart
So we separated and fell apart
Then I liked a boy who loves to play
His guitar and just rock away
Followed by the boy who loves to give me a hug
He kept me warm and oh so snug
Then came the boy who called me ‘amigo’
He only liked me cause I gave him mentos
Then there was the boy who walked 15 miles
He was filled with lots of laughs and smiles
Then the boy who I sat next to in the most boring lesson
I never knew I liked him for any special reason
He just made me laugh and was genuinely funny
He was an over the top and very tall bunny
But none of them really worked out
Sometimes I wonder what it’s all about
I hope one day I find Mr Right
Who will let me dream well every night
When I find him, these boys will see
They are all losers cause they all lost me
They let go and moved on, they will never last
Because they are just the Boys of the Past!
I am tired of running after boys
Always ending up to be just their play toys
I always try to be positive every day
But would you be happy, if ALL your exes were Gay?
I went out with Tim, an awesome guy
Why did he turn out to be gay, why?
It was going so good, why did it have to be me?
Why did his ‘girlfriend’ have to be Lee?
Then there was Jim, a bad but fun guy
But why me, me oh my!
Now, here I am again with another boy
I am so filled with happiness and joy
This new guy’s called Kim
He first told me ‘Wow, you’re slim.’
And believe it or not, He is NOT Gay.
This has been such a great day
Finally, I found the perfect boyfriend
I really hope this will be the happy end
He is not Gay, He is Straight!
We went to the movies for our first date
He kisses real good, and damn he is fine
I’m so glad I can call him all mine
But I did find out something… and it’s making me re-think
Because when we went to his house, all his walls were pink!
Ruth met Jim, a very good lad
He is tough and kinda bad
Ruth loves her Bad-Boy Jim
Even if he can sometimes be dim
Jim is the coolest boy in town
All these other guys looks like clowns
He loves football and Ruth
But maybe he should tell the truth
One night they went to a pub
A party and dancing, type of club
Jim invited along his best friend
But we all know this is not the end
Jim was so hot on the dance floor
He was also drunk and wanted more
So Bad-Boy Jim did his thing
He shouted out loud ‘I’m the Gay King!’
Ruth was devasted once again
Why can’t just be like Ken?
Ruth felt really down
Is there one straight boy in this town?
You’re FIRED! You are not welcome anymore
Oh, stop being a baby and let the tears pour
You may think I care but I don’t at all
I knew this would happen, I knew you’d fall
Yes, it started with you being a star
These chaos and stupidity has gone too far
Before you were loved but look at you now
Pack your bags, Tidy your office, you are such a cow
Look. Here comes the boss. You are gonna get thrown out
Just stay silent, we all know what it’s all about
Wait a minute… why is he walking towards me?
The boss said: You’re FIRED! You total wannabee!
What?! This is not fair. Why am I getting fired?!
Because you are a bitch and we are getting tired
Tired of your ridiculous advice and constant bragging
Why did you always have to keep on f***ing nagging?!
You are not the Queen, we don’t need you to stay
You are so annoying and loud, now go away!
No! Don’t even beg. The boss made his decision and there is no doubt
Go on then… pack your bags, tidy your office and make sure you stay out!
Tim and Ruth kissing under a tree
A couple so sweet as can be
Holding hands with each other
Hiding away from her mother
Keeping her safe by his side
Honest and complete, totally nothing to hide
While she laid her head on his chest
She feel asleep and had a rest
Then came the trouble by the next tree
Tim found his ex and his best friend, Lee
They were eating each other’s face
And touching in ‘you don’t want to know’ place
The time has come, to tell the truth
He kissed her goodbye, ‘love ya, Ruth’
Ruth woke up and followed him
She is madly in love with Tim
Tim went over to see his friend
But this is not where it ends…
Tim shouted at Lee for dating a girl
This started causing a total whirl
Lee hugged Tim and said ‘I’m sorry’
Then they kissed, should we be worried?
Ruth was shocked, she ran away
She can’t believe Tim is gay
She and his ex, left at half eight
Walking down the path called Straight.