~You will be rewarded with a Great Honour~

Today, I am going to be graduating with a FIRST CLASS HONOURS!!! I still cannot believe it that I got a First Class grade.When I first saw it, I couldn’t quite process it that I got a 69.83% (which just barely made the first class grade) and the words next to it had First Class Honours. I just kept staring at it and shaking my head and I was really speechless. I never thought I would see those words on the screen. I was very certain that I would get a 2:1 because I calculated it over and over again (hoping it would be a 1st class) but finally accepting that I shouldn’t have even thought about getting a high grade and I am just happy with a 2.1. I already told a lot of my family members that I will get a B and soon I was confident that I would get a 2.1 (which secretly made me feel disappointed) but I moved on and just accepted it.

But those words on the screen when I saw it really brought tears to my eyes. The three years have been a huge adventure and like I said before, it wasn’t the easiest or the most fun thing you could do in your life (at least for me lol)  but I took it as a chance to prove myself that I can do it and grow. I didn’t really get high grades so I wasn’t looking for the top grade at all and most of the lecturers/ tutors warned us that not a lot of people will get firsts, so I didn’t have high hopes for myself. I cruised through the first year and in the second year and cruised even further in my third year, hoping for at least a 2.1. As a person who also missed out on things, I like to keep to myself and just jump hoping to land safely at least a metre from the edge and I treated university the same way. I did my best and if it wasn’t enough then I had to accept it and move on. I never shared my grades with anyone (unless they ask) but it always plays over and over again in my mind that I will never get a top grade and that always stayed with me until the results day. I still cannot believe I got a First Class Honour!

Getting this grade means so much to me for several reasons. Firstly, as I mentioned above, I am not the person who was highly praised for being academically smart and most of my grades especially A-Levels was so crap. I even had my doubts if I will even make it into university. But now, I have officially finished on a high note and I couldn’t have been more proud of myself. After all the stress, crying, headaches and sleepless nights, I can now breathe a sigh of relief that I am officially finished with all the essays and I am officially finishing with a First Class Honours. All those times, I stood people up and told them I was too busy to meet them (cause I was doing some last minute essays lol), the times I shut myself in my room and forced Vanessa to stay with me during some of my all-nighters so I would have some company, the times she was annoying and told me ‘It will be fine, Trisha’ and ‘You need to calm down!’ (which followed with a pillow to her face and on one occasion I dug my nails into her arms- I said I was sorry and you can barely see the scarring hahaha) and the times I handed every essay in thinking that it is the best I could and it is up to God what grade I get. I am one of those people who doubted herself constantly and worried so much about the future but always kept it to myself cause I don’t want to bother people. People would tell me it would be fine and I will nod my head (even if deep down I doubt it will be lol) and just get on with things. I never thought of the possibility of getting a first in anything and even though I would get excited when I got a first in some of my essays, I tell myself that I need to tone down the excitement so I won’t be disappointed. But damn, I did it and got an unexpected First Class Honours.

Another reason this means so much to me is that getting a high grade means I have ticked off one of the things on my bucket list, which is graduating from university and graduating with the highest grade possible. I know that going to university is a privilege as my parents always tell us, education is something people cannot take away from you and something you can never lose. So many people dream of going to university and they cannot afford to, so I feel so blessed that I stuck with it and finished university. I know this also means so much to my family that I am going to be graduating and there are not enough words I can write and say to thank them enough for quietly supporting me.

To my parents, thank you for always pushing me to be the best I could be and showering me with all the things I want and need. My parents work so hard every day to earn money to pay for all the necessities in life and they never wanted anything back except the promise from us to work hard and be a good person. Nothing can ever repay the unconditional love my parents have given me all my life but I hope now that I am going to be graduating, I can share with them the pride of this great accomplishment and a toast to the start of a fruitful future that they have always believed I would have.

To my sisters, firstly to Vanessa, you have always been annoying and we have had a lot of fights and I am sure there are still more to come. You have always made fun of me (mostly about my ex-boyfriends) but you have also brought some fun into my life by being my volunteer PA by bringing all my stuff for me up and down the stairs. Even if I injured you in the process or told you to be quiet, I always appreciated your encouraging words and your willingness to help me realise that I can do it! To Beatrice, thank you for helping me make peace with my inner child. With all the stress, I was always so serious about getting things done to prove that I have become an adult but with all the times spent with you, you have helped me take a break from being all grown up and watch cartoons and play childish games I have missed so much (plus it gave me a reason not to do my essays).

To all my aunts, uncles and cousins, you have always been there with supportive advice and compliments and even if we do not get to see or speak to each other as much as we would like, I know you are cheering me on with great enthusiasm. To all my Lolas, you have taken care of me since I was little and watched me grow into the person I am now. You have passed on your wisdom to my parents and they have passed it on to me and that has helped shaped my values on life and the power of prayer. I know we don’t go to church as much as we should but I also know that all of you always pray for me, for my health, my happiness and for my studies. I am so glad that both of our prayers have been answered and I am graduating with the highest honours. I will send some pictures over so I can share the blessings that God has given me. To my late Lolo Al and Lolo Ramon, I am so sad that you can’t see me graduate but I hope you are looking down on me and are very proud.

To all the few friends that stuck with me since childhood and until now, thank you so much for making me realise the power of friendship and I appreciate all the support you have given me (even though I didn’t get to meet up or hang out as much as you would have liked me to come and meet up). I will try and make an effort to come hang out more hahaha. To all the friends I met at university, you have been amazing and I am sure our paths will cross again and you will go on to greater things. To all the lecturers that taught me, you have opened my eyes and ears about social issues from theories that seemed like from many years ago (that I would have normally not even realised existed or wanted to read) but those lessons will stay with me in my mind and has not only made me more wiser but full of curiosity to discover more. 

After today I would be officially ending my university life with the highest grade and closing a huge chapter of my life. I cannot wait to see what the future has install for me. Let us toast to more undiscovered adventures that is now waiting to be discovered. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xo

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Being a Grown-up

Sorry I haven’t posted for ages since I have been swamped with events and work and life in general. I will keep this short since I want to plan ahead some ideas of what to write about. I have been busying working at my new workplace which I have been enjoying so far. I am looking for another work since it is just a part-time job but I will see how this one goes in the meantime. I have my graduation coming up and so I have been getting ready for that (I still have a few things still missing but apart from that I think I’m ready). My mom recently had her birthday and we had a lovely time spending some quality family time. I wanted to post on here but she wanted to keep it hush-hush lol. I am enjoying being single and focusing on me for a little while. Everyone is doing good and I am slowly figuring out this being a grown-up thing. 

Anyways, I promise I will make a much better effort on posting on this blog and writing more about my life and every undiscovered adventure I will be going to and hopefully discovering. 

Peace and Love xo

Trisha 

Countdown to Graduation

Tomorrow marks the day that Graduation tickets go on sale and I am so excited! I have been waiting for this day to come for ages and after three years, I am now finished with university and going to be graduating on October. That means I have a few more months for me to lose some more weight (a weight update will be coming real soon) and to decide what I should wear. I think graduation is one of those days where you can feel accomplished and to just breathe in all the achievements you have gained after a long time coming. I have already been looking at graduation dresses and looking up all the things needed for the ceremony  like booking my robe and how much tickets I need to buy (I still don’t know if Vanessa will be able to make it because she has school). I am so excited to be graduating and ending this adventure and looking forward to starting more undiscovered adventures. 

Cannot wait to see what happens next!

Determined

So many things have changed I have lost count
So many things to do and it’s starting to mount
Changes have come and doors start to open
The time has passed and so much has happened
Life has been hectic I had to run to keep up
Gotta keep on running until I reach the top
Now I am here there is no chance of slowing
Too much perseverance gotta keep on going!

Never Mind

Many years have passed and words have been said
Yet here we are standing the test of time instead
We stand face to face, invisible to the eye and screen in hand
We talk and it comes back to the phrase: ‘I hope you understand’
But you know what, I don’t think I do and maybe after this, I never will
We have been moving so fast but Mate its time to stand still
I asked you a harmless question and you asked one back
I had an explanation then you exploded with an attack
You began with how you did me good through all these years
Oh is that why my heart is breaking and my eyes fill with tears?
You accuse me of things I never gave you or every did
Sometimes, you make me feel like the girl that God forbid
You continue that my lack of presence means I don’t care
Just because I didn’t take the train or the money, well that’s not fair!
You said I hold you at a distance even when you are close enough to touch
Sorry I wasted my tears for two days straight, just because I missed you so much
Then you end the conversation by saying  it’s nice for a couple to openly communicate
Four months have gone by and you choose to tell me this now, well Dude it’s too late
I am tired of disappointments and how we are running round and round
You keep on talking clever words but I no longer hear any sound
You missed so much whilst you were basking in your incredibility
You wanted me to be more visible in your life, how about invisibility?
Because I feel invisible and all I asked was a tag or a small post
I didn’t ask you for money or a train ticket, I’m so glad this ends with almost
I want to wish you good luck in your future and I’ll bow out and say farewell
If you had only listened, there are so many news I still had to say and tell
But I guess you’ll never know that I was about to start a job, actually two
If you could have only waited, I would be now planning my way to you
I never thought I would be the one to end it, I was the one who walked away
I have a feeling I will remember that rainy night and the following sunny day
And the saddest thing is that you made me believe that we are intertwined
But when I woke up, my heart felt lighter and my brain shrugged: “Never mind”.

CHILL

Did you read that comment on your post?
From a random stranger from across the coast
They said you are a joke and look fake
Oh sorry, did they make a mistake?
Why did you delete it, the person is online
Wait did you block them, are you feeling fine?
Wow your blocked list is pretty full
Why do you look like a raging bull?
Sorry, did that offend you, well its true
Damn, you’re so immature, did you really block me too?
I’m not a social butterfly but where have you been?
Girl, please take your face out of that screen
You remove and delete posts you don’t want to see
So you can continue acting like a total wanna-bee
If you can’t take criticisms well tough for you
Now you are acting like you don’t have a clue
People will say things that you don’t like
Time to walk away and take a hike
Get some fresh air and just embrace
You cannot keep clicking the button: ERASE
Everyone has an opinion that will come to bite you back
Darling, don’t take this as a personal attack
Just listen to what I’m saying even if you won’t take it in
You keep acting like this and I guarantee you’ll never win
Listen carefully, I will say this nice and slow
Cause I know your blocking finger is ready to go
You have to remember people can say what they will
Girl, log off your account, walk away and CHILL!

Finding Time For Theory

I have been so busy with finding a job and sorting out appointments that I need to attend that I haven’t had time to read my theory test book. That book has been sitting on my shelf since the end of the start of June and so far I have only read a couple of pages. (the introduction lol) I feel like every time I try and read it my brain goes blank and my heart sinks. Maybe a part of me still doesn’t want to drive and is keeping me from even flicking through the book. I have been taking some practice ones on the internet and so far I have been failing most of them so that I have been sort of discouraged. But at least I have been getting some practice in rather than procrastinating (despite failing free tests lol)

I will get there in the end but right now, I need to focus on getting everything else sorted out in terms of work and teaching my sister how to toilet train (she recently passed the potty test). But after July, I am hoping to book some lessons this summer just so I can make a start on it.

Wish me Luck!