~You will be rewarded with a Great Honour~

Today, I am going to be graduating with a FIRST CLASS HONOURS!!! I still cannot believe it that I got a First Class grade.When I first saw it, I couldn’t quite process it that I got a 69.83% (which just barely made the first class grade) and the words next to it had First Class Honours. I just kept staring at it and shaking my head and I was really speechless. I never thought I would see those words on the screen. I was very certain that I would get a 2:1 because I calculated it over and over again (hoping it would be a 1st class) but finally accepting that I shouldn’t have even thought about getting a high grade and I am just happy with a 2.1. I already told a lot of my family members that I will get a B and soon I was confident that I would get a 2.1 (which secretly made me feel disappointed) but I moved on and just accepted it.

But those words on the screen when I saw it really brought tears to my eyes. The three years have been a huge adventure and like I said before, it wasn’t the easiest or the most fun thing you could do in your life (at least for me lol)  but I took it as a chance to prove myself that I can do it and grow. I didn’t really get high grades so I wasn’t looking for the top grade at all and most of the lecturers/ tutors warned us that not a lot of people will get firsts, so I didn’t have high hopes for myself. I cruised through the first year and in the second year and cruised even further in my third year, hoping for at least a 2.1. As a person who also missed out on things, I like to keep to myself and just jump hoping to land safely at least a metre from the edge and I treated university the same way. I did my best and if it wasn’t enough then I had to accept it and move on. I never shared my grades with anyone (unless they ask) but it always plays over and over again in my mind that I will never get a top grade and that always stayed with me until the results day. I still cannot believe I got a First Class Honour!

Getting this grade means so much to me for several reasons. Firstly, as I mentioned above, I am not the person who was highly praised for being academically smart and most of my grades especially A-Levels was so crap. I even had my doubts if I will even make it into university. But now, I have officially finished on a high note and I couldn’t have been more proud of myself. After all the stress, crying, headaches and sleepless nights, I can now breathe a sigh of relief that I am officially finished with all the essays and I am officially finishing with a First Class Honours. All those times, I stood people up and told them I was too busy to meet them (cause I was doing some last minute essays lol), the times I shut myself in my room and forced Vanessa to stay with me during some of my all-nighters so I would have some company, the times she was annoying and told me ‘It will be fine, Trisha’ and ‘You need to calm down!’ (which followed with a pillow to her face and on one occasion I dug my nails into her arms- I said I was sorry and you can barely see the scarring hahaha) and the times I handed every essay in thinking that it is the best I could and it is up to God what grade I get. I am one of those people who doubted herself constantly and worried so much about the future but always kept it to myself cause I don’t want to bother people. People would tell me it would be fine and I will nod my head (even if deep down I doubt it will be lol) and just get on with things. I never thought of the possibility of getting a first in anything and even though I would get excited when I got a first in some of my essays, I tell myself that I need to tone down the excitement so I won’t be disappointed. But damn, I did it and got an unexpected First Class Honours.

Another reason this means so much to me is that getting a high grade means I have ticked off one of the things on my bucket list, which is graduating from university and graduating with the highest grade possible. I know that going to university is a privilege as my parents always tell us, education is something people cannot take away from you and something you can never lose. So many people dream of going to university and they cannot afford to, so I feel so blessed that I stuck with it and finished university. I know this also means so much to my family that I am going to be graduating and there are not enough words I can write and say to thank them enough for quietly supporting me.

To my parents, thank you for always pushing me to be the best I could be and showering me with all the things I want and need. My parents work so hard every day to earn money to pay for all the necessities in life and they never wanted anything back except the promise from us to work hard and be a good person. Nothing can ever repay the unconditional love my parents have given me all my life but I hope now that I am going to be graduating, I can share with them the pride of this great accomplishment and a toast to the start of a fruitful future that they have always believed I would have.

To my sisters, firstly to Vanessa, you have always been annoying and we have had a lot of fights and I am sure there are still more to come. You have always made fun of me (mostly about my ex-boyfriends) but you have also brought some fun into my life by being my volunteer PA by bringing all my stuff for me up and down the stairs. Even if I injured you in the process or told you to be quiet, I always appreciated your encouraging words and your willingness to help me realise that I can do it! To Beatrice, thank you for helping me make peace with my inner child. With all the stress, I was always so serious about getting things done to prove that I have become an adult but with all the times spent with you, you have helped me take a break from being all grown up and watch cartoons and play childish games I have missed so much (plus it gave me a reason not to do my essays).

To all my aunts, uncles and cousins, you have always been there with supportive advice and compliments and even if we do not get to see or speak to each other as much as we would like, I know you are cheering me on with great enthusiasm. To all my Lolas, you have taken care of me since I was little and watched me grow into the person I am now. You have passed on your wisdom to my parents and they have passed it on to me and that has helped shaped my values on life and the power of prayer. I know we don’t go to church as much as we should but I also know that all of you always pray for me, for my health, my happiness and for my studies. I am so glad that both of our prayers have been answered and I am graduating with the highest honours. I will send some pictures over so I can share the blessings that God has given me. To my late Lolo Al and Lolo Ramon, I am so sad that you can’t see me graduate but I hope you are looking down on me and are very proud.

To all the few friends that stuck with me since childhood and until now, thank you so much for making me realise the power of friendship and I appreciate all the support you have given me (even though I didn’t get to meet up or hang out as much as you would have liked me to come and meet up). I will try and make an effort to come hang out more hahaha. To all the friends I met at university, you have been amazing and I am sure our paths will cross again and you will go on to greater things. To all the lecturers that taught me, you have opened my eyes and ears about social issues from theories that seemed like from many years ago (that I would have normally not even realised existed or wanted to read) but those lessons will stay with me in my mind and has not only made me more wiser but full of curiosity to discover more. 

After today I would be officially ending my university life with the highest grade and closing a huge chapter of my life. I cannot wait to see what the future has install for me. Let us toast to more undiscovered adventures that is now waiting to be discovered. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xo

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Becoming Friends

It’s been a whole year since we broke apart
You left me standing alone with a broken heart
I told myself its the end, goodbye
I don’t like you and you know why
You went away and I stayed behind
Picking up the memories I can find
One day, you came back with a new lady
She got you back on your feet and crazy
You love her, I see it in your eyes
If you end up marrying her, it won’t be a surprise
You rubbed it in my face and held her tight
You took away the happiness and the light
But then you left her and took me aside to talk
Finally, after a long time, we slowed down, we walked
You want to be friends and dreaming of something more
This is the new beginning so go open that door.

It’s Over

You told me lies and useless words
You trapped my wings like a helpless bird
You looked at me as if you care
I wanted you to stop, just don’t you dare
But like always, you don’t listen to me
You walk, speak, taste and feel, but not see
See that you’re hurting my heart
That this relationship is tearing apart
You wanted me, you said you wanted me so bad
Thanks for making me lose the happiness and bring back the sad
We kissed and hugged and planned everything until we die
But instead, you left, just left me to cry
Why did I trust you when I knew you were wrong
Why did I give in, when I was starting to be strong
Why do I feel foolish, like it was my fault, my mistake
It was never me, just hold on and hit the brake
It wasn’t me that got my hopes up
It wasn’t my choice to carry on or stop
It wasn’t me that let go of the dart
It wasn’t me that broke my heart
It was you that made me cry
It was you who acted like the right guy
It was you, who tore me to pieces
It was you, tricking me with your hugs and kisses
You can’t fool me again, we are definitely through
Because you are not that guy before, I don’t love you!

I’ll come with you

Boy likes Girl, Girl likes Boy too
Moments away from saying ‘I love you’
Boy has flowers and chocolate
Ready to declare his love at eight
Girl is getting ready for Boy to come
She knows he is the right one
On the way to her house, Boy saw a guy
He was there in an alleyway about to die
The Boy ran to help him but then….
Boy went down, hand on his heart
This was supposed to be the start
He looked up and saw Girl’s Ex and the guy alive
This was a trick, a kind of bribe

The doorbell rang and Girl opened it, she frowned
She looked around and then she felt like she drowned
Boy was lying on the ground
Knife to his heart, no sound
She cried over him and saw a note
It was from Boy, the last he wrote

Dear my love,
I have loved you since we became friends
But I really hope we can be more, it wouldn’t end
I have always wanted to say these three words
The three words which will make our world
If I died today,
I would want to say…
You are the one for me, my dream come true
Girl, I Love You!

Boy
X

Girl looked at him and took the knife from his heart
Girl loves him too, Girl cannot let them be apart

Finding True Love

He looked at me for a minute or two
I’m obsessed with him but he hasn’t got a clue
I need him so badly, he needs to be mine
He is so cute and extremely fine
He just broke up with his leading lady
They went out now he’s gone crazy
to get her back in his arms
Needs to bring his cool and his charms
But really she doesn’t care one bit
She already has her eyes on a boy so fit
Why does he still run after this bitch?
He needs to be free from that wicked witch
Why can’t he see there are other girls here?
Right in front of him, oh so near
He doesn’t need her anymore
Time to open another door
But why can’t he see me?
Staring at him like a bee
There is still time for him and me to meet
Just need to stand and find our feet
Once we are finally together
Everything will be happily ever after.

Him versus Him

He has brown hair, He has blond
He acts like Indianna Jones, He’s no James Bond
He’s Irish, He’s part Greek
He’s a Pscyho, He’s a Geek
He wears black, He wears what he can find
He broke my heart, He’s out of his mind
He left me for another girl, He never actually Β liked me
He saw me and want me back, He thought I was free
He stood his ground, didn’t move, He did the exact same
He hates you and you hate him, but both of you are to blame
He broke me and my heart, He left me and tore me apart
You both acted like I was your long lost soulmate
Tough luck, boys, both of you are too late
I will just wait here for my number one guy
Leave you both hanging and wondering why
You had the perfect solution, you won’t be missed
Take a look at yourselves, Jerks, you pissed?

Friend?

Friends? That’s what you said you want to be
You said you want to be friends with me
So, we’re cool now, is that right?
So, we’re okay, there’s no need to fight?
Good, I like how this sounds so far.
Hey, did you get a new car?
So, what do you want to talk about?
I’m sure you don’t want to go out
So, we’re amigos, pals, mates
I really want to go on a date
Wow! You walked away…great talk!
Can I have a ride? Oh never mind… I’ll walk
Hey, you said you’ll help me with my dance
I’d like to chat again when you have the chance
Not today? Well tomorrow maybe, just us together?
Oh, you weren’t listening, I’ll take that as never.
Hey, what’s going on? Oh, you’re with “your Queen”
Well just wanted to check, “How you been?”

This is getting stupid, when will it end?
I’m starting to think if you’re even my friend.