What happens now?

I’m not pretty, I’m not perfect, I’m nothing to anyone
They always go away, always disappearing, gone
They never even stay for too long
Never a year, never forever, it has gone wrong
First, they win me with words and sorts and stuff
Filling me with sweet things and playful fluff
Then, without realising, slowly I break into million ones
They pretend they betray, they hate and they pounce
No more love, no more peace, just hatred and guilt
The scales start to become unbalanced, it starts to tilt
It moves towards you, so you are the one who wins
Hurting me all the time at the drop of a pin
And when I’m broken, you make me miss your absence
You force me to sit and listen to the silence
To emphasise just how badly I’ll need you
And the fact that you won’t miss me too
Leaving me, Leaving me, Leaving me to cry
Leaving me and walking away, leaving me wonder why?

Questions you should ask a Boy

Are you a bad boy or are you good?
Do you like to work out or digging into food?
Do you play an instrument, or maybe you sing?
Do you like simplicity or a lot of bling?
Are you stinking rich or do you just like money?
On your toast: butter, jam, Nutella or honey?
Are you a good laugh, do you think you’re funny?
What’s your favourite animal: dog, cat or bunny?
What’s your favourite colour: blue, green, red…What do you think?
Are you gonna be a real man and say your favourite is pink?
I guess, I asked a lot of questions, let’s just stop
But tell me on your list, am I the one on top?
Sorry, I asked another… I think you’re a star
One last one, have you ever done it in your car?

Friend?

Friends? That’s what you said you want to be
You said you want to be friends with me
So, we’re cool now, is that right?
So, we’re okay, there’s no need to fight?
Good, I like how this sounds so far.
Hey, did you get a new car?
So, what do you want to talk about?
I’m sure you don’t want to go out
So, we’re amigos, pals, mates
I really want to go on a date
Wow! You walked away…great talk!
Can I have a ride? Oh never mind… I’ll walk
Hey, you said you’ll help me with my dance
I’d like to chat again when you have the chance
Not today? Well tomorrow maybe, just us together?
Oh, you weren’t listening, I’ll take that as never.
Hey, what’s going on? Oh, you’re with “your Queen”
Well just wanted to check, “How you been?”

This is getting stupid, when will it end?
I’m starting to think if you’re even my friend.

Last Lecture/Seminar

Last lecture and seminar today before the Easter Break. I can’t believe it has gone so quick already. I wish I could enjoy the holidays but I have to write the essays and refine my dissertation some more as well as the PDP. I’m glad that it’s nearly the end and I do not have to write another essay in my life after this. But at the same time, I am also scared that I won’t have anything to do after it is all finish so everything right now is kinda bittersweet.

Anyways I’m just gonna try and get through the day and enjoy the last lecture and seminar before it’s time to hop on the bus back home and relax with some Chinese Takeway with my family and then a long sleep before tomorrow essay writing and tidying the house will resume.

Confusion

I just finish, but they want me to start
We prayed to God for the desires of our heart
If they can’t see it, I hope God will
Then maybe I can just keep still
Stop the commotion and sit
Even just for a little bit
Maybe I keep it inside
So I can have time to hide
Little secrets and problems the world is waiting to see
Or maybe I don’t want to humiliate and embarrass me
They said ‘ You are still a kid’
But somehow it feels like a bid
Who can grow up the most?
So they have something to boast?
Growing up makes them proud
To watch children make a bigger bound
There are still decisions that I need to make
To avoid disappointment and mistake
Why now that they shout?
When I haven’t figured things out?
Why now they compare?
When I haven’t even gotten there…