Death Will Win

A girl who decided to promise her life to Death
In twenty-four hours she’ll take her final breath
She needs someone to show her the light
To free her and hold her tight
She stares in the dark, swimming in red
If you don’t go now, she’ll soon be dead
She’s crying softly, here comes the rain
Death is knocking, she’s gonna go insane
Come to her and she might let you in
If you don’t, then Death will win!

*for World Suicide Awareness Day*

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Freckles

I once had a fish named Freckles
He loved nothing more than doing heckles
Once the dog said: “Why are you so tiny?”
Freckles replied: “What’s it to you, Whiny?”
The cat once told him he is about to be eaten
Freckles stared him down, he wasn’t about to be beaten
He got out of the fish tank and clapped his fins
He walked towards Tommy the Cat and gave a devilish grin
We haven’t seen the cat in years but we found his third paw
Inside Freckles fish tank sitting there with his nails from his claw
Freckles was using them to clean his teeth and scratch his ass
The parrot stopped talking, Freckles must have given him some sass
One day, Freckles went all green and he got bigger and bigger
Then we saw the rat climb on his fish tank and pull the trigger
Of the plug, the water began to be drained until Freckles was on the floor
Soon, my dear Freckles was face to face with the slightly strained toilet door
My sister lifted it up and down went Freckles in the swirly, murky toilet water
Then she started screaming as the lid lifted up and something sharp caught her
There stood a scaly beast that reached the roof and its eyes looked at us two
I promise you, my reader, this story is one hundred percent, absolutely true!
So I have a now have a full grown CROCODILE named Freckles
He ate my sister but he is really good at heckles.

Ants Fable

A little tale about a tale about ants that my mother told me…

We woke up to an ant infestation. My little sister, Bea was panicking because the ants are trying to attack her by crawling on her arm. She was also annoyed and distressed that ants are invading her playhouse and she doesn’t understand where they are coming from. I told her its okay and we were just going to vacuum them up later because I still need to make breakfast. I left her there and soon she was screaming again because she wanted to go to the kitchen but her path was blocked by a dozen ants walking back and forth looking for stray crumbs or bits of fluff they are able to carry to their undiscovered home. I had to help her across so she can go to the kitchen but was, of course, met with the dilemma of crossing the same line to go back into the living room again. Anyways, I finished making breakfast and Bea was eager to report the ant infestation to my mum who had just come down the stairs. My mum told her that it’s okay and that once breakfast is finished we will sort it out.

*cue moral story about ants*

While we were having breakfast, my mum just randomly said that she felt sorry for the ants because they are being killed. She said that the ants are so cold in the winter that they hibernate under the soil just so they can survive and once summer comes around the soil will be too hot and just like people they want to enjoy the hot weather but instead people are trying to kill them by vacuuming them up or drowning them with wet wipes or water (which is really sad if you really think about it). This got me thinking about the little ants’ feelings and how we need to let them enjoy their summer holidays too (although they did eat the lemon cake and have been hanging around and on the dining room table for 2 weeks now).

So, the moral of the story is that ants shouldn’t be killed because they have lives and (families) too, so they deserve a little break… unless they start eating the food again then that is when I draw the line!Β 

A Love Story

Once upon a time, that’s how the story starts
The tale of the Girl and Boy and their broken hearts
The Boy loved the Girl that was supposed to be his bride
He loved her so much that he pushed his family to the side
The Girl loved the boy, soon to be her groom
This would be a happy story, you might assume
The Boy loved her so much that he gave up his kingdom
The Girl loved him that she gave away her freedom
They loved each other and would sacrifice everything
He wanted her to be the Queen and him, her King
He loved her too much that he swore she is the one
That was how the story went until she disappeared, Gone!
He looked for her, searching for the Girl he was to marry
But he never did, the sun shone and the night sky starry
So he had to marry another girl, someone he did not love
He hoped to join his Queen when they meet in the clouds above
Little did he know, she was still alive, sane not crazy
His ex-bride wandered around with their small unborn baby
She went away to tell her family and then came
To see her beloved Boy with pride and joy, no shame
Some say it was bad timing and some say maybe it was bad luck
It was the wedding night, rain started to pour and lightning struck
The Girl sat in the church, not knowing the wedding was Boy’s and another
At the front of the altar, there stood his mother, father and brother
There she saw her Boy too, he looked handsome yet pale and grim
Then she turned and saw a girl in her dress, walk towards him
She was confused, she did not understand at first
As the ceremony took place, it became much worse
The vows were said and the rings on their finger
Represented how she is now just another stranger
That night Boy and Girl both cried
Their supposed love now has died
Girl found no use in living if their unborn baby has no father
Boy realised that Girl is the one for him, there can be no other
Girl took the knife and Boy took the poison
All three died but for a good reason
But all stories should come with a happy ending
So it shall, no strings, no pretending
Boy, Girl and their baby, stood together all happy and even
The Boy was right, they would finally meet again in heaven.

Achillies

I’m not Zeus, I don’t have lightning bolts
I’m just a normal guy who has loads of faults
I’m not Hercules, who’s strong and a hero
I am more like Neville when he was a zero
I’m not Batman, no gadgets or a car
I’m just a broken dude with a Twix bar
I’m not Harry Potter- who defeated the Dark Lord
I’m just a terrified guy with a flat he can’t afford
I am not Ron W, with his girlfriend Hermione
I’m just here wishing… will she be-miney?
All I am is a boy who is too afraid to ask her if she would…
Make my dreams come true, pretty please, I don’t want to be rude
I am so scared that she asked ‘what’s the matter?’
I didn’t know how to reply so I just leant in and kissed her
It felt so good and I wish it would have lasted forever
I guess this means that we are now finally together
So, I may not be Batman, Zeus, Ron, Harry or even Hercules
I have weaknesses of failure and girls, my name is Achilles!

Sultry Dream

Sitting on the bench, smiling and laughing
So good, thrilling, sexy and so shocking
You are so crazy, always an adventure
Your one torture is my guilty pleasure
Sitting there, hot sizzling, gonna catch on fire
You are too good, baby, my one and only desire
Licking your lips with your tongue, it turns me on so much
My heart skips a beat every time at your sudden touch
You lean in and kiss my cheek leading to my mouth
You went not north, west, east but south
Down to my neck, you continued to bite and suck
Slow down please… careful now… F***!
Up to my ear, you nibble, making me wet
Been doing it ever since we first met
In under a millisecond, you reach my breast
My hand sliding down from your face to your chest
Don’t stop, you are too good, forgive me if I scream
I opened my eyes to find out that it was all a dream
I’m gonna confess you are better than my ex
How about you and I re-enact our Dream-Sex?

Another Princess Tale

There was once a princess
Who was pretty but in distress
She waited and waited
For her status to be updated
Right now it says: LOCKED IN A TOWER
The same every week, every day, every hour
This princess is also single
Alone with no one to mingle
Princes, Dukes and Kings
Have offered her a dozen rings
But most of them are gits
Too perfect, no fungus or zits
Some are show-offs and cocky
Some are short and kinda dorky
Some of them thinks they are so cool
Saying rich words that make you want to drool
No one seems to be right for her
She can’t find her happily ever after
She is still in her tower alone
Thinking of a new status for her phone
One day she had enough and finally had something to say:
‘Dear all that comes or online today…
I can’t find the right one and don’t want to cry
I am really getting fed up now so goodbye!’
Tourists come to her tower and hear her tale
About how she didn’t like any of the passing males
She was so bored with all the guys who fooled around with her
Now she didn’t get her happily ever after
She jumped off her tower and died
Well, not really. The tour guides lied
She realised she didn’t want a man
Turns out she’s a lesbian
Since that day, she was never ever seen
She’s alright though, she is kai kai-ingΒ with the Queen.